The Wedding
by No Satisfaction
Summary: Sequel to Beat the Parents. Sly and Carmelita are getting married, but not before a series of events unfold. Will this be the wedding from hell? Hope not.
1. Calm Before the Storm

I've decided to put Evil Walks on hold, hell; I might re-edit the already posted chapters of that story before I continue. Anyway, I've decided to go through with this story first. Of course, this is the sequel to Beat the Parents, and will feature the mayhem prior to a wedding that would be any bride and groom's worse nightmare, with of course, the ever so hilariousness. And I don't own any of the Sly Cooper characters, except for Juan, Julio, Eliza, Maria, Enrique, Tanner, and Alexia. So on with the show…er…I mean fic.

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Calm before the Storm

Sly Cooper, raccoon of both sides of the law, woke up to the sun in his eyes and his ladylove next to him. And no, he didn't do that. He smiled for a moment and turned to his fiancée.

"Time to wake up Carmelita," he whispered in her ear.

"Five more minutes," she moaned back.

Sly chuckled. He had never heard her say that on a workday.

"We need to get ready for work," he said again.

Suddenly, her hand came up and shoved his face away. "Fine, I'm up."

Sly leaned back in his chair. It was a slow day, and there was nothing worth sending an Interpol Elite. But then again, he'd rather be in one piece for when he met up with Carmelita's family for the second time later that day.

"So Carm," Sly teased. "Any chance your dad isn't gonna shoot me in the back again?"

"Oh shut up Ringtail," Carmelita answered, heading for the door. "As long as he doesn't know we sleep together he won't so much as try to mop the floor with your ass."

As soon as Carmelita opened the door, Tanner stumbled in. Carmelita simply ignored him and left, but Sly looked annoyed.

"Tanner?" Sly asked. "What were you doing?"

"Listening in on your deepest secrets," Tanner shrugged.

"Nice excuse," Sly sarcastically said.

"So, you are sleeping with Carm, huh?" Tanner said with devilish grin.

"Hold on, nothing happened, we simply slept," Sly said.

"Yeah right!" Tanner smirked.

Sly said, obviously annoyed. "So get out!"

Just as he opened the door to motion Tanner to get out, Alexia stumbled in.

"Uh…I was just crushing a bug on your door with my ear," she said.

Sly turned around to Tanner. "See! Now this is an excuse I'm looking for!"

Meanwhile, in the break room…

"What's Sly's problem?" Alexia asked.

"Carm's dad shot him and her brother nearly broke his nose," Tanner said, not looking up from his magazine.

During his last visit, Sly was scared to death by Carmelita's dad, Juan Fox. While he managed to win over everyone else, his soon-to-be father-in-law managed to shoot him in the back after revealing his deep dark secret. Now tonight, they were going to drive down to Cadiz to join the family again, for the final preparations for their wedding. Even with everything ready, why did he feel that things would be going to hell in a hand basket? If only he knew…


	2. Gone Fishing

Normally, it shouldn't have taken me this long to write a chapter, but I couldn't decide what I should have first, son I'm just going to start off with this tale of a fishing trip. Enjoy.

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Gone Fishing

Sly pulled up to the Fox residence in Cadiz early the next morning. It was close to five in the morning. Already Maria and Juan Fox were standing out on the front porch to greet them.

"Oh Sly," Maria said, hugging Sly, then hugging Carmelita. "Oh Carmelita, so how was your trip."

"Three words," a very much tired Sly groggily said. "Need a bathroom."

Suddenly he darted through the front door, saying a quick 'hi' to Juan as he ran by.

"He had like seven cups of coffee," Carmelita stated.

"So are you gonna give your old man a hug or what?" Juan teased, holding out his arms.

"Be nice this time okay," Carmelita whispered as she embraced her father.

"Don't worry," Juan said. "Your mother locked up my gun collection real tight."

As they entered the house, they found a tuckered out Sly asleep on the couch. Though Juan took no notice, Maria gently laid a blanket down on him.

Sly was awake at about ten o' clock. When he woke up there was already a continental breakfast waiting for him on the coffee table. After scarfing it down, with an exception to the coffee and having only the tea, his in-laws appeared. Eliza, Julio, and Enrique had car pooled and arrived on the scene.

"Hey guys," Sly said.

"Hey Sly," Enrique replied, shaking hands with his soon be third brother.

"Yo," Julio said.

"Hey," Eliza too said. "Seen Carm anywhere?"

"Beats me," Sly shrugged, heading for his car to get his stuff.

When he returned, realized that all his belongings that he brought for the trip were already set in one of the guest bedrooms.

"Hey Cooper!" Juan yelled, startling Sly. "The boys and I are going fishing, you coming? 'Cause I doubt you want to be stuck here with the women, right?"

"Sure thing, I'll come," Sly replied, deciding now what he'll where.

Sly came out dressed in khakis and an olive drab button shirt. Juan, Julio, and Enrique were already, the gear, bait, and poles in the back of the sport track. Juan had a cigar clenched between his teeth and Enrique had a large brimmed hat on. At the fishing spot, they had just cast their lines when trouble arose.

"So what kind of fish are out here?" Sly asked. "Oh what the HELL!"

Out of the branches of the tree that supplied a canopy over their heads came a blob of white goop that landed on Sly's shoulder.

"Hey, what'ya know," Julio said, a smirk on his face. "That's good luck right there."

"Yeah right…" Sly muttered. "OH WHAT THE HELL!"

Another glob of bird dung landed on Sly, this one smack dab on his head. This time, everyone, except for Sly, started to chuckled.

"What do I have a target symbol on my head?" Sly sarcastically asked. "You know, Julio, switch with me."

"What? Fine, if it'll stop your wining," Julio sighed, switching chairs with Sly.

About a minute later, two more gobs landed smack dab on Sly.

"SON OF A…" Sly yelled, his voice trailing off before he said a cuss word.

"Maybe you should take a nap," Enrique said, laughing. "You looked pooped!"

Everyone started to laugh, except a fuming Sly.

"Hey dad?" Julio asked. "What's that white stuff in bird poop?"

"That's poop too!" Juan answered, laughing.

"Screw this!" Sly moaned. "Julio, switch spots with me."

"What? No freakin' way man," Julio commented.

"Julio, just do it," Juan sighed.

Julio and Sly stood up to trade when suddenly Sly shoved Julio back in his chair.

"HAHA!" Sly yelled upward. "You don't know what I'm gonna do…"

His victorious laugh was quickly extinguished and replaced by sobs of defeat, as it seemed to rain the disgusting white globs on him. Everyone, except Sly, broke into full-blown roaring laughter.

"Well it's certainly and improvement over that shirt," Juan laughed.

"I'm sick of your crappy jokes," Sly ironically said, heading for the car.

"Well that's a whole lot of good luck right there," Enrique giggled.

"Yeah," Julio agreed. "About twenty gallons worth!"

The three broke into laughter again until irony appeared. It was as if the heavens opened the floodgates as the white mess cascaded down on the three, quickly extinguishing their laughter, but igniting Sly's.

"HAHAHA!" Sly laughed. "Thank you poetic justice!"

Nobody seemed to talk during the ride home. They were too pissed off at nature to utter a word, especially Juan, who would have to clean out the interior of his sport track due to everyone covered to almost fifty-percent in gooey gross white stuff. But it would prove to be an interesting surprise for the three women at home, and knowing them, they'd first be hosed down outside before allowed to go inside…


	3. Location, Location, Location

**Location, Location, Location**

Maria, Eliza, and Carmelita were doing much better than the guys for their day, but not by much. They were deciding where to hold the wedding. Eliza decided on the traditional church, but Maria and Carmelita wanted it to be even more special.

"Still!" Eliza argued. "Stick with the church, it's cheap and it's a roof over our heads if it rains."

"But where's the uniqueness in that?" Maria counter-argued.

The heated debate was cut short when the sport-track pulled up rather early, and out came four guys as white as ghosts and very (and I can't even express the emphasis on the very) annoyed.

"What the hell happened to you?" Maria asked. "Did a bucket of paint fall on you?"

"Yeah, a bucket paint fell on all four of us in the middle of the woods along the lake," Julio sarcastically commented.

"Jeez Sly," Carmelita commented. "What exactly did happen?"

"It's probably best you don't touch me," Sly warned. "But I'll just say that all of us were robbed of our dignity by a bunch of stupid pigeons up in the trees."

"Well none of you are going into the house!" Maria scolded. "Not until somebody hoses you down!"

The guys groaned.

"I'll do it," Eliza volunteered.

The guys groaned again.

Ten minutes later, Sly, Julio, Enrique, and Juan were all clean of birdie butt release and were allowed in the house to further clean themselves off. At first Eliza kept suggesting that their cloths get burned but Maria decided against it. All Carmelita did was laugh.

"Man Sly!" Carmelita laughed as Sly came walking in through the house. "You look like a wet cat!"

Dripping wet, cold, and shivering, Sly decided to grab a large glass of water sitting on the table and poured it on her. Carmelita yelped in surprise and had Sly running for his life for the bathroom, where he locked himself up and took a shower.

The next day went by much more smoothly as the guys instead decided to go into town. But the girls were still having problems with locations.

"I got it!" Maria suggested. "How about that one overlook where couples go for the romace…"

"Wait, wait, wait," Eliza said. "Mount Hump?"

Carmelita had the same look other face as her sister's.

"Mom," Carmelita began. "Nobdy goes there for the romance, they go there for the…"

"Well we can at least scope it out, right?" Maria asked.

"Fine," the two sisters sighed.

About a minute later, Carmelita and Eliza looked up from and invitation draft they made.

"Maybe we should choose something else," Eliza said, looking at Maria.

"I just wrote 'Your cordially invited to Mount Hump…' and I died a little inside," Carmelita said.

"What about that lovely place by that stream," Maria asked.

"Oh, nooooo," Eliza scolded in a sigh. "Please, no 'sunny shores of nipple creek' please!"

"Well, there is this park just outside of Paris that me and Sly sometimes go to," Carmelita suggested.

"What's it called?" Maria asked, intrigued.

"Infinity Park," Carmelita said.

"Good, it doesn't sound like anything like those other places," Eliza sighed with relief. "Is it wonderful?"

"Oh it's gorgeous!" Carmelita said. "There's this lovely overlook of the city."

"Sounds great!" Maria exclaimed. "It looks like we have a winner!"


	4. The Dress Pt1

**The Dress Pt. 1**

The entire family went into town to run a few favors. Sly went to the Thunder Beak nightclub, in hopes of meeting up with Dimitri for some 'business.'

"Hey!" a guard said, blocking Sly's entry into Dimitri's office. "No one sees the boss!"

"I'm a friend of Dimitri's," Sly tried to reason. "I just need to talk to him!"

"It's okay, bro's cool," a voice said over an intercom.

Inside, Dimirti was busy lying back in his chair, legs propped on his desk.

"Sly! Bro!" Dimirtri applauded. "How's it going?"

"Fine! Fine!" Sly said. "I just came to…"

"Hold that thought!" Dimirtri said, getting up from his chair. "I want to show you something."

Dimitri moved over to a portrait of the Cooper Gang, the only picture the gang had taken in it's prime, just before Sly left them. Pushing a button hidden in the framework, an entire floor to ceiling section of wall rotated, revealing a secret passageway.

"Cool," Sly sighed, unimpressed.

"Not that!" Dimirtri said, motioning him down the stairs.

Sly found himself in a large condo UNDER the nightclub. He then realized that the nightclub had been built along a cliff side.

"Had this place built months ago," Dimitri commented. "Took them FOREVER!"

Looking around, Sly found himself in the garage, where he found a green Porsche, but the rear bumper caught his eye.

"What the hell is that?" Sly asked in distaste.

"That's my bumper sticker," Dimirtri answered.

"Yeah, right," Sly scoffed. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What?" Dimirti asked, puzzled.

"It says: Gas, Grass, or Ass," Sly said, pointing it out. "Okay, I just came here for a favor from you," Sly turned to Dimitri focusing his attention away from the bumper sticker.

Carmelita meanwhile was having the finishing touches done on her wedding dress.

"You're gonna look gorgeous!" Maria said.

"Sly's gonna have trouble keeping his hands off of you when he sees you in that!" Eliza exclaimed.

"Well, I love it," Carmelita sighed with happiness, zipping up the special stiff bag to keep it in good condition. "Now we have to keep it safe! 'Cause this cost me a whole lotta cash!"

"Don't worry, it'll be safe," Maria said.

Back at the house, Carmelita was hanging her dress up, when Sly entered the room. Panicking, she shoved Sly out the door.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"It's bad luck for the groom to his bride's wedding dress," Carmelita answered, finally letting him in.

Meanwhile in a shed, Juan was beating on an old boat engine, making Enrique uneasy seeing as his head was inches from the propeller, and one 'nice' hammer blow could get the engine working. After about a few more minutes of trying to get the engine started, he figured out the problem. There was nothing wrong with the motor, there was a short in the battery.

"Hey Enrique, go get me that battery re-charger," he said.

"Where?" Enrique asked.

"I ran out of space in the garage so I stowed it in the guest bedroom closet," Juan answered. "Sly and Carm's room."

Enrique hurried into the house and moved his way over to guest bedroom. Opening the closet he was greeted by the white dress.

"Hmm," he pondered. "Carm's dress. Looks nice!"

He gently grabbed it to get a better look when there was loud distinct rip. Enrique just stared dumbfoundly in shock at what he had just done.

"Oh shit," he muttered. "I'm screwed."


	5. The Dress Pt2

**The Dress Pt 2**

Enrique poked his head through the door and into the kitchen, where his mother was busy preparing dinner.

"Psst, mom," he whispered, shifting his gaze around the room. "Carm's not around is she?"

"No, why are we whispering?" Maria replied.

"This," Enrique said, entering the room and showing the dress.

"YOU TORE CARMELITA'S DRESS!" Maria exclaimed.

"See, that would have been something YOU SHOULD HAVE WHISPERED!" Enrique muttered.

Suddenly, Sly entered the kitchen, "Hey guys…" he stopped when he saw Carmelita's torn dress and a surprised and shocked expression radiating from Enrique.

"What the hell?" he asked in a low and threatening voice. "What did you do?"

"His fault," Maria blurted, pointing at her son.

"Mom?" Carmelita yelled from the next room.

Surprised, the three scrambled around looking for an exit strategy, until Enrique shoved the dress into the oven, and then leaned against it, blocking the view through the oven door window. Carmelita came in slightly distraught. "Has anyone seen my dress, it's missing!"

"Um, no, no," Enrique stuttered. He obviously had something to hide.

"Someone took your dress?" Sly asked in shock. He was the most convincing.

"Well you're not gonna find it here, check with Julio, your father, or Eliza, it's not here!" Maria said, shoving Carmelita out the door.

"What the hell was that all about?" Carmelita asked herself as she walked outside, confused.

Enrique opened the oven and pulled out the dress, there were rusted charcoal marks from the grating and an odd stain on it.

"What the hell is this?" Enrique asked, as if the stain was Maria's fault.

Sly bent over and stuck his arm in there, and pulled out a honey-glazed ham, rested it on the counter top, and gave a Enrique a dirty look.

"One day your gonna look back on this and think it's funny," Maria muttered. "Of course you'll still be single 'cause no girl'll want to marry the jackass that ruined his sister's wedding."

"Actually Enrique, Carmelita'll just kill you," Sly stated, his face showing severe annoyance. "Kill ya, then get to work on ya."

Suddenly, Sly's and Maria's expressions changed. Their eyes went wide.

"What?" Enrique asked.

Sly nervously pointed to the dress. "Fire in the hole," he muttered.

Enrique looked down on the dress. He had been holding it over the stove! "Oh shit!" he yelped, dropping the burning dress.

He began stomping out the flames that seemed to eat away at the bottom of the dress, not taking notice as Sly and Maria backed away and seemed to take cover underneath the table. Once the fire was stomped out, he turned to see Carmelita staring at him. She was furious. VERY furious. (I can't even put enough emphasis on the very.) Her gaze was filled with enough malice to potentially cause someone to burst into flame.

"Uh…" Enrique said. "What are you doing with that rolling pin?"

Almost immediately, he dashed out the door into the backyard.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Carmelita yelled chasing after her brother. "I'M GONNA CLEAN YOUR CLOCK, THAT'S WHAT!"

Sly and Maria sat stunned underneath the table for the next minute, the kitchen silent with the exception of the distant sounds of Enrique's cries of mercy and the distinct sounds of blunt objects hitting hard objects.

"Should we help him?" Maria asked.

"You kidding?" Sly passed. "I get in the way, Enrique won't be the only guy here who'll his legs tied like a pretzel."

The sounds continued for the next hour or so, the rest of the family eating dinner through it like it was big deal, until finally it was time for bed.

It wasn't until morning did everyone found out what Carmelita did to Enrique. All that was left was his head, or at least it was the only thing sticking out of the mound of dirt next to the shed.

"Carm," Maria said, holding a box. "I know you loved that dress, but I hope you can forgive your common sense impaired brother for ripping, getting honey on it, setting it on fire, and stomping on it. And here."

"Mom, I'll just find a new dress…" she stopped when she opened the box. "Your wedding dress? Mom, I don't know what to say…"

"How about: 'Enrique I'm sorry for whipping you nads with a car antenna, giving you two black eyes, driving the car over your foot, and burying you under five feet of dirt…" Enrique said.

Sly simply kicked Enrique in the head, shutting the fox up.

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AN: As some may have noticed, I tend toget some of my humor from tv shows. I know someone has noticed. Anyway, next chapter will be the bachelor party and an AC/DC song cameo. 


	6. Party!

AN: I don't own Have a Drink on Me by AC/DC, though I do own a copy of the Back in Black CD. 

Also, I need help deciding which story I should dish out next. _Condor, Forged Identity, Green-Eyed Lady,_ or _Blind Man's Bluff_. Note that their names may be changed. Their descriptions are on my profile.

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Party!

The entire Cooper Gang had showed up the parties that were being held at the Thunderbeak. Murray ended up bringing a keg, so it was an ominous sign that things were going to get wild. Juan had reluctantly agreed to control his cop instincts and prevent any urges of making someone 'wear their ass for a hat.'

"Hey Sly," Bentley said from across the poker table. "Mind getting me a beer?"

Sly got up from his seat and went over for the cooler, but something was tugging on his leg. Looking down, he realized that he a ball and chain shackled to his ankle. Everyone immediately broke into laughter.

But the girls' party wasn't as fun loving as they were trying to be.

"You call this a party?" Alexia wined.

"Shut up!" Penelope muttered.

"Where's the booze? Where's the fun?" Alexia asked. Everyone just about had it with her crap.

"You want booze?" Eliza snarled. "I'll shove a friggin' vodka bottle down your damn throat!"

"Girls, GIRLS!" Maria sighed. "I have this 101 bachelorette party activities book, we'll be able to have some fun. Here, this first activity, we'll need some nail polish and a summer squash…" Silently reading through the directions, her eyes quickly went wide, and she slammed the book shut and threw it over her shoulder. "Let's go see what the guys are doing," she said very quickly.

Entering Sly's bachelor party, Alexia quickly said, "Now this is a party!"

Juan stumbled up to the group, holding a bottle of beer and he slightly swaying, and oddly enough, he wasn't wearing any pants.

"Hey there!" he muttered, a stupid grin on his face.

"Are you drunk?" Maria asked her husband.

"I'm holding a beer bottle, there's a keg in the room, I'm not wearing any pants, my little girl is getting married…" he stated. "I'm plastered!"

Then ironically, a rock song came on the stereo. "This is my song!" Juan yelled.

Where's the gin and brandy? With be pretty handy 

_I'm trying to walk a straight line_

_I'm so immersed in cheap wine_

_Join ya for a drink boys?_

_We're gonna make a big noise_

_So don't worry about tomorrow_

_Take it today_

_Forget about the check_

_We'll get hell to pay_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_I guess I'll have a phaeton_

_Or tequila white lightning_

_Yes, my glass is getting shorter_

_On whiskey and some water_

_So come on have a good time_

_And get blinded out of your mind_

_So don't worry about tomorrow_

_Take it today_

_Forget about the check_

_We'll get hell to pay_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Gettin' stoned_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me!_

_Come on!_

_Gonna roll around_

_Gonna hit the ground_

_Take another swing_

_Have another drink_

_Gonna drink ya dry_

_Gonna get me high_

_Come on alibis!_

_Makin' noise_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

_Have a drink on me_

Carmelita found Sly still playing poker with Panda King and Guru. Panda King hadn't divulged in the sake he had brought for the party from a trip to Japan. Guru vowed not to drink anything that would make one 'put a lampshade on their head and try to turn them self on.'

"Who's winning?" she whispered in his ear.

"Me," Sly replied. "So far Panda owes me two kilos of grade-A screaming mimi's, and Guru owes me three lessons on dreamtime."

"Mind if I borrow him for a while?" Carmelita asked the two bears across poker table.

They both nodded, mostly thankfully because they didn't want to owe their leader anything more. Carmelita then grabbed ly and yanked off to another room.

Sometime later, they returned (you fill in the blanks), only to find an unusual, but wild sight. Practically everyone was chanting "Chug, chug, chug…!" As Alexia was being held upside down and was drinking beer straight from the keg.

"This isn't gonna end well," Sly said, trying to fix his heavily messed up hair.

"I'll say!" Carmelita said. "Last time she chugged beer straight from a keg, she threw up on me boots three times."

"Well I definitely don't want to be here for that," Sly jokingly said.

"Neither do I," Carmelita replied, then after a long pause; "Closet?"

"You bet," Sly answered.

Then slowly, the two looked at each other, and then ran off.


	7. A Toast

**A Toast**

Sly woke up with the sun in his eyes; much like several days before. Once again, he was back in his Paris flat with the woman of his dreams. Tonight he knew, would be the dinner before the wedding. Bentley, after calling in a few favors, had planned for a most exquisite meal.

Everyone was close to the soon be newlyweds was there. Sly's gang, Carmelita's family, her friends. Even Chief Barkley. Of course, the Cooper Gang had to stay undercover to avoid 'detection'. With all the chattering going around at Sly's house, nobody noticed Bentley stand up (he had braces for his legs to help avoid getting caught.).

"May I have your attention please!" Bentley said. Nobody paid any attention. "Can I have your attention!"

"LISTEN UP YOU BASTARDS!" Murray yelled in annoyance.

Everyone immediately quieted down and stared at the pink hippo.

"Sorry about the bastard thing," Murray apologized. "My friend has something to say."

"I would like to make a toast to the fine couple that we have gathered to see," Bentley began. "Two fine officers of the law, ready to tie the knot. And I must say, a very cute couple. So here's to the Sly and Carmelita!"

Everyone raised their glasses in a tribute to the couple.

"I would like to say something too," Barkley said, attracting all the attention towards himself. "They say that when God closes a door, he opens a window. And I must say that the partnership between these two are an example of that. When Ms. Fox hee came to my precinct, she was dealt more than her fair share of bad hands. Incompetent partners, backstabbing partners, HELL! One of them sold her out. Top it all off, she was harassed by jealous co-workers and especially those stupid horn-dogs that I have the displeasure of calling 'officers.' And then one day, she returns from a sting operation in the Pacific with this beat up, confused raccoon with her, and she says that he took one hell of a beating! He couldn't remember a damn thing. Of course, I didn't want to waste the academy's with trying to re-educate this amnesiac, but she insisted that he be trained. So I say to her "Fox, if you really want this guy to be helped, then he be your partner, no if's, and's, or but's." Well now I know I made a good decision putting these two together. To the finest people I have ever had the pleasure of calling officer's of the law."

Everyone raised their glasses in tribute.

During the dinner, everyone was chatting up a storm.

"Mmm," Eliza said. "This is good! What is this? Who made this?"

"That would be me," Murray answered.

"Really?" Eliza asked in astonishment. "What is it?"

"Let's just say that it was a 'slow runner'," Murray said with a serious face. It quickly went to a goofy look when he saw the shocked and grossed-out look on Eliza's face. "Just kidding!"

"You didn't tell me Murray was a good cook," Carmelita whispered to Sly.

"Trust me, he wasn't this good back in high school," Sly replied. "He got kicked out of a cooking class because the teacher asked what he was eating and Murray replied "Let's just say that the Easter bunny came early…and I shot him."

"He said that?" Carmelita asked in disbelief.

"No," Sly said. "I did, it was a joke because I accidently stuck an arrow into the thigh of my gym teacher during archery. He wasn't a very bright teacher to begin with if he stand on the archery field while the students are letting the arrows fly."

"Jeez," Carmelita said in disbelief. "It's never a dull moment with you guy's."

"Damn straight," Sly simply muttered, giving a small smile.

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Sorry if this chapter isn't as good as the other ones. Been having some writer's block. 

Once again, I need to know which story to get up next, Condor, Blind Man's Bluff, Green Eyed Lady, or Forged Identity. Whichever gets the most sugestions or votes (whatever), that'll be the next story. SO GET TO VOTING!


	8. The Wedding

Finally, this part. I'm goin' out on a limb seeing as how I don't know squat about weddings. Sure I attended two of them (That I can remember) But I was like a two year old or something so I wasn't really paying attention. Anyway, enjoy.

And the next fic will be that Blind Man's Bluff and Condor, seein' as how I would like to get into a much more straight shot action fic. (I'll be workin on them simultaneously)

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The Wedding

Infinity Park was as gorgeous as Carmelita had said it was. The heavens had opened up, revealing a near cloudless sky. And just beyond the pedestal that Sly and Carmelita would be standing, the city could be seen in plain view. The Eiffel Tower stood out plainly.

Everybody gathered around the park, mingling with each other while waiting to be told to go the their seats organized on both sides of a red carpet. Two officers seemed to have been conspiring about something.

"Prichard, what the hell are you doing this time?" Officer Graves asked. He knew his friend well.

Prichard was like the village idiot of Interpol, only, he did it on purpose. Walking into the women's locker room: intentionally. Or streaking through Officer Graves' own wedding reception. But this time, it was personal.

"I hate Fox," Prichard muttered.

"Really," Graves said sarcastically. "I guess you those days of drooling over her was just an act."

"Come on," Prichard complained. "She's just trying to screw everyone here over. She invites every officer who has put the moves on her, even Jerry, and we all no how Jerry never takes no for an answer…"

"Oh yeah," Graves reminisced. "Like when he got fed up and pretended to accidentally spill the water cooler on her in hopes that her shirt would shrink…"

"All Jerry got instead was a broken nose and a mangled coin purse," Prichard chuckled, then shaking his head to show that he was getting back on track. "Why do you think she's invited everyone who made a pass at her? She just wants to get the last laugh at us, to prove that she's won the war! Well I'm not going down without a fight."

Graves was really fed up with his friend's paranoiac crap. And judging by the seriousness in his voice and look, Prichard really meant business.

"Oh really?" Graves' asked. "What'ya gonna do?"

"Glad ya asked," Prichard grinned, pulling out what looked like a remote. "I'm gonna light off a bunch of those faulty fireworks from the evidence lockers."

"Sure," a gruff and constantly angry sounding voice said. "And I'll light my foot off in your ass!"

Prichard turned around to see Juan giving him a death stare. "If you know what's good for you, you'd sit your ass down in a chair and never push that button.

Prichard gulped, and ran away.

Eventually, everyone was in their seats, and the ceremony began.

"Do you Sly Cooper, take Carmelita Fox to be your bride?"

"I do" Sly said.

"And do you Carmelita Fox, take Sly Cooper to your husband?"

"I do" Carmelita said.

"If there's anyone here who think that this couple should not be together, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Everyone remained quite, but Prichard was about to object when a gruff voice whispered, "Sit your ass down and you may just wake up tomorrow morning."

"Then I pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride"

But instead of the traditional wedding kiss (_anybody see where this is going?_), Sly grabbed Carmelita and dipped her low to the ground as they sealed their lives together with the kiss. And then everyone started cheering. Rushing for the limousine, Carmelita almost forgot to throw the bouquet, which Penelope caught.

Sticking himself out of the sunroof, Sly yelled, "Hey guys! Next time you try to hit on her you'll be beat on by me!" jokingly of course. Though he did mean it.

* * *

I'm not sure if this'll be the last chapter. So I think I'll add the reception too. Once again, I'm announcing that Blind Mas Bluff and Condor will be worked on simultaneously. Condor will start off just after the incident on Kaine Island.But BMBstill needs some planning. So watch out for them! 


End file.
